Two Words: Bovine Gelatine.

In other news of,

 "Moms, Stop Creating Entitled, Needy Humans* by Codependantly Over Planning Your Kid's Free Time**,  and even if they are bored, Let Them Be Bored*** til they figure it out": (*but I am not giving advice because what do I know based on my own memories of childhood and having birthed 5, what do I know-ok yes so I messed up here and here, all the ways, but they are all still breathing and growing and they even smile once in a while so what do I know, though I am going to leave you with this little nugget, just gonna leave it right here and walk away and what you do with it is now up to you: SIX. I am the mother to six, five by birth and one by rescue but again, WHAT DO I KNOW AND HOW DARE I ADVISE YOU ON ANYTHING EVER MAYBE I HAVE NEVER GLEANED ANY WISDOM OR HINDSIGHT, not to mention my own memories of having been a kid at one time myself.)

Ahem. 

Deep breath.

So here's what happened today: 

less than 20 minutes ago, in fact:

There I was, staring at the back of a bottle of Biotin pills. I wanted to know how many of these one is supposed to take in a day, and should one take it with a meal, full glass of water, empty stomach, what would be ideal??? And then my eyes looked lower, to the ingredients list, and it said:

 "gelatine (bovine.)"

 and then I thought, is it just me, or do those sound like two words that should never go together? Like ever? I don't know about you, but when I hear the word, "gelatine," I instantly think of Jello, fruity flavored and marketed as a light dessert or side dish, sometimes prepared with banana wheels or little orange wedges? Cool Whip and Church Pot Lucks?  None of those things speak to me of cows, which is what "bovine" means; it's just a fancy word for "cow."

   So I was considering all of the ramifications of what this thought does to the concept of Jello (kills it dead, that's what) mind you, this was all taking place within a span of maybe 3 seconds. And then, Four Year Old Child walked into the kitchen holding her deflated arm water wing things. The day before, she had asked me to blow them up for her, and I had said no. No, because blowing up water wings is a Daddy Job (DJ), and no, because I am that type of mom who puts "deliberately getting light headed and dizzy" near the top of my list of DTIWNDD. (Daily Things I Will Not Deliberately Do.). 

So here we have our scene: 

Me standing in the kitchen holding the bottle of Bovine Gelatine and Child has entered, holding deflated water wings and wearing a dress. 

    She had originally gone into her room to "Put On Your Swimsuit!" Because "We Are Going Swimming!" In the inflatable blow up wading pool that Daddy set up two days ago. (Inflatable: Daddy job. At least I am consistent in TICTBDJ. (Things I Consider To Be Daddy Jobs.))

    So there she stood and, remembering that I was not going to blow up the water wing, she informed me that she would blow it up herself. To which I said:

 be careful you'll get light headed to which she said that's ok if I get light headed to which I said  light headed feelings mean you aren't getting enough oxygen and it is your brain's way of telling you to take a break 

(yes I said that) 

(and I was sincere about it)

 ...to which she, um I forgot what she said next because I decided to stop arguing and focus on worrying about why she had yet to put on her swimsuit and didn't she know we only have SO MUCH TIME.  Doesn't she realize that bubbles are involved, so deeply involved, in my Grand Master Plan, too. But then I actually looked at her face and saw pure happiness, the kind that only comes from being a kid fully loving just this exact moment, how excited she was at the prospect of blowing up the water wings. And I did not say those last thoughts. 

I just said something like "ok." 

    She walked into her room saying, "I'll just be in here, blowing this up.  If I get dizzy I'll stop." 

End of scene. 

     A few minutes later, (5, tops) Child came out of her room with her hands behind her back and said, "Look at me, but close your eyes!!" the excitement practically oozed, people. So I closed my eyes. She said "OPEN YOUR EYES!" I opened my eyes and guess what. She had blown up the water wing. "I knew I could do it!" She said,  radiant in full gush mode. I almost "high fived" her but didn't. 

     She then decided it was a good time to put on her swimsuit. Some time during that (roughly) 38 second task, she decided it would be too much work to blow up the other water wing and chose to deflate the first one. "I decided I don't want to use them." She said. 

Which makes sense in a pool where the water level doesn't even reach her shins.

Blink

Blink

  So then commenced the outside inflatable pool play and yes there still were bubbles and yes a few moments of "I don't want to look right now, I already saw that, I'm busy writing, go play" (<<< me saying that.) 

*MSCENH

**COPYKFT

***LTBB