The Day The Magpies Descended (Birds are for the birds.)

So I just now said to my husband, "do you mind if I type a little bit?" because I just need to get some things off my chest, but we share this one laptop, and if he wants to use it, now would be his time to use it for whatever business he conducts on this thing.  Probably searching for truck parts and wires and things, in case you were wondering.  But tonight the NBA playoffs are on, and this is very exciting, as the new old retro sound system is on and amplifing our old retro tv.  Basically everything in our house is old and retro and we call it "retro chic."  So as that is requiring his full attention, I now have some things to get off my chest.  

    K. Just now before I unload.  Husband just stopped me mid typing to say "Can I show you this for a minute?"  His voice was grave and serious, and I knew he was wanting to show me a video of bird attacking a dog, but I was on a mission so I said "I HAVE to get these words out of my head RIGHT NOW."

     Preamble over.  Post begins now:

     Early summer of 2013, I had a baby.  The rest of that summer was spent recovering from having had that baby.  5 weeks after he was born,  I saw a bird I had never seen before in my front yard.  This happens often in this town.  One of the first things I noticed when I moved here 3 years ago was the variety of unusual birds.  This one particular bird had blue, black, and white feathers and a yellow beak.  What caught my attention and disturbed me was that this bird kept its beak partially open all the time.  It's a strange sight to see a bird in your yard, just a normal sized bird sitting there as if at rest, but it's beak is not fully closed.  Just no, bird, don't do that.  Don't just sit in my yard and look like you are on the verge of being a thing of beauty, but actually on this side of strange, which makes the whole thing now simply odd.  Just, don't do that, bird in my yard.  

     But then it wasn't just the one bird.  The next time I looked out at my yard, there were two or three of them, just like that, with the beak thing happening.  I will spare you the drawn out details and just say that for one entire week of that summer, exactly 5 weeks after I had had a baby for the fifth time, my front yard was invaded by this creepy breed of bird.  I kid you not, and I had witnesses to back this up: on the last day of that unique week, we saw at least a dozen in the yard at one time.  Talk about your creepiness factor.  I took a picture of one of them, found out that they were magpies.  And then they were gone.  It has been two years, and I have not seen any of their kind since that last day at the end of that one week when they descended in mass. 

 UNTIL YESTERDAY.

    There I was, unassumably parking the minivan in my driveway with my now almost two year old son in his car seat.  And what do I see in my neighbor's yard, all unassuming as if it owns the town?  Magpies.  Three of them.  Beaks partially parted.  No.  Yes.  But no, please.

      Now is probably a good time to point out that this is not a feel good 'wrap it all around to a happy ending" blog post.  This is ventilation for my soul.

     Since yesterday, I have seen several magpies.  I hear them calling as they fly overhead; the sound they make is like a strange siren noise; not at all musical or charming.  

     Now is probably a good time to point out that strange not exactly calm, peaceful, and charming creatures is TOTALLY NORMAL for my neighborhood.  We live in a ghetto part of town.  It's not the worst of the ghettos, so my husband says, and I take his word for it since he knows these types of things; but it is a ghetto, and the animals here play right along to type. There are several wild cats.  Or maybe they are owned, but their owners let them run free, and often we hear screetch cat yells as they fight each other.  I guess that's what ghetto cats do.  I don't mind the cats though because they eat the rodents.  (Do not get me started on the rodents.  It is another story for another day.)

     Our neighbor recently adopted one of the neighborhood cats.  It has no tail.  Like it has a stump where you can tell it obviously once had a tail which is no longer present.  It is a sad looking cat.  

     And then there are the neighborhood birds. Even the birds here seem to know that they are ghetto birds.  They fight each other, too.  I am not exaggerating.  They fight verbally and physically.  I have stood under the tree in the front yard and looked up because there was a whole lot of screeching happening up there.  I have looked up to see what appeared to be some sort of branch turf war between three different birds.  I have also seen a different type of bird FALL DOWN ON THE GROUND OUT OF THAT SAME TREE because they were in a wresting tangle, fighting each other.  

    So my point is that I should not be surprised that the creepiest bird of all, at least the creepiest I have ever seen to date, has come to visit our 'hood.  At least I sure hope they are just visiting.

    This afternoon, I was enjoying the glorious triple digit heat which typifies summer in this town by sitting on the porch and watching my youngest children play in our inflatable blow up kiddie pool.  And then I heard the siren call that I now recognize as that of the magpie.  I looked across the street to observe no less than twelve of them congregating underneath a dumpster.

    Yes, there is a dumpster there, right across the street.

     And yes, that is where the magpies chose to huddle.

     The end.

     And now, if you don't mind, I think my husband wants to show me a video of a bird attacking a dog.  I hope the dog wins.

Birds are for the birds.

UPDATE: It ended up being a video of AN EAGLE ATTACKING A FULL SIZED MOUNTAIN GOAT, LIFTING IT UP IN IT'S LARGE TALLONS AND CARRYING IT OFF AND AWAY IN THE SKY.  FOR THE PURPOSE OF EATING THE GOAT.
WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO.  I KNOW THIS IS NOT NEW NEWS, BUT I JUST NOW LEARNED THERE IS SUCH A THING AS A LARGE EAGLE CARRYING A MOUNTAIN GOAT OFF OF THE MOUNTAIN AND FLYING AWAY WITH IT AND I DO NOT LIKE THIS NEW (TO ME) TURN OF WORLD EVENTS.

the end.
Carry on with your merry making.