Forgiveness is for giving.

"Two other men, both criminals, were also led out with him to be executed.  When they came to the place called the Skull, they crucified him there, along with the criminals-one on his right, the other on his left.  
Jesus said, 'Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.' 
 And they divided up his clothes by casting lots. 
 The people stood watching and the rulers even sneered at him.  They said 'He saved others; let him save himself if he is God's Messiah, the Chosen One.'  
The soldiers also came up and mocked him.  They offered him wine vinegar and said 'If you are the king of the Jews, save yourself.'
There was written a notice above him, which read: THIS IS THE KING OF THE JEWS.
One of the criminals who hung there hurled insults at him: 'Aren't you the Messiah? Save yourself and us!'
But the other criminal rebuked him.  'Don't you fear God,' he said, 'since you are under the same sentence?  We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve.  But this man has done nothing wrong.'
Then he said 'Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.'
Jesus answered him, 'Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.'"
Luke 23:32-43

Definitions of forgiveness:
 "To grant pardon for or remission of (an offense, debt, etc.); absolve."*

"To give up resentment against or stop wanting to punish (someone) for an offense or fault; pardon."*

(Understand: to "Forgive" does not mean to "be close friends again;"  It doesn't mean that you necessarily trust the other person; It just means the other person no longer owes you anything, emotionally or physically or in any other way.)

In recent years,  I have heard many people say that the reason we are to forgive other people for the wrongs they have done to us is so that we ourselves can be set free.  I don't know where this idea originated, but I know one thing for sure:  

     IT'S NOT TRUE.

     IT'S NOT WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS,

     IT'S NOT WHAT JESUS EVER SAID.

I suppose you could live your life regurgitating that statement if you are not a Christian and don't claim that Jesus Christ is the Lord of your life.  But if you are living your life to follow and serve Jesus, then I urge you to go back and read the bible and read all about forgiveness once again.  

     First of all, If you are a Christian, then you have already been set free from every and any kind of bondage or chain.  Christ came to set you free, and that means FREE!  There is no type of sin, addiction, past hurt, bondage, prison, or sin from which GOD cannot set you free.  Nothing is too hard for Him! 

 "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.  Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery."  Galatians 5:1

And so you see, you are already free! 

 You just ARE.   

Walk in that freedom, that lightness.  Learn how.  The only way to learn how to walk is to grow up, like a baby has to grow up and stumbles a lot until he figures out how to walk, then run, then jump and leap for joy.  You learn it by spending time with the one who set you free, in prayer, and in studying His word.  Jesus Himself is the word, (John 1) But His words and ways are preserved in the bible.  You will not know how to tell the counterfeits from the real thing unless you study the real thing for yourself, and not just by what someone else tells you.   Because this statement of "Forgiving Someone Else to Set Myself Free" is often said by well meaning, Jesus loving Christians, too.   It is often said in counseling or healing ministry groups, and often by the leaders of such groups.  And yet it is preposterous to assume that I myself have the ability to set myself free from anything.  If I were  able to set myself free, then why did I need a Savior God to do it for me?  If I were able to set myself free, then why do I eat a whole carton of ice cream whenever I think of painful things that someone else has done to me?  I cannot set myself free from my own bad habits and destructive behaviors.  I cannot set myself free from the pain of someone else having done or said things to me that hurt me deeply.  But My Savior Can!  And that is why I need Him!  He forgave me to set me free.

Because the truth is, you guys, Forgiveness is FOR GIVING.  It's not For TAKING.  

It is also For GETTING, but in the sense of, 

"Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

Philippians 3:13-14

And also in the sense that love "...keeps no record of wrongs,"1 Corinthians 13:5

...it for-GETS!

Since Jesus Christ is our example in how to forgive, let's look at the way He forgave.  Did forgiving me set Jesus free?  No.  It killed him completely dead.  Not metaphorically, but literally, every drop of blood in His body dripped out in an effort to forgive me.  First, he was betrayed and rejected by a very close friend, then He was beaten, tortured, spit on, insulted.  He did not even save His own pride, but hung high on a hill, naked with everyone watching.  And even then they continued to taunt Him. 

 "Those who passed by hurled insults at Him, shaking their heads and saying, 'You who are going to destroy the temple and build it in three days, save yourself!  Come down from the cross if you are the Son of God!" 

 Matthew 27:39-40

Jesus had already explained why He was not going to save himself from this divine act of forgiveness.  he had already told Peter, 

"Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and He will at once put at my disposal twelve legions of angels?  But how then would the Scriptures be fulfilled that say it must happen this way?" Matthew 26:53-54

He could have saved Himself, but He didn't save Himself, because He was trying to save everyone else.  

So you may feel like you are saying a noble thing if you choose to look at forgiveness as being something I do so that I myself can be set free.  But there is nothing noble about that statement.   What is noble is to forgive the least deserving, for the act of setting that person free.  Who is the least deserving?  Well, me of course.  Or if you are reading this out loud, insert your own name.  But hint:  It's not that other person you are struggling to forgive. And though Jesus' forgiveness of me did not set him free, but killed him, in three days, He did come back to life, He did appear to many people, and then He did ascend once again to Heaven, to sit at the right hand of His Father, having fulfilled the entire requirements of the law.  (reason to study the Old Testament as well as the New Testament in the bible...you need to know all of the things that actually happened and were actually required before the death and resurrection of Jesus.)

And here's the real clencher:

 We can't humanly actually forgive anyone on our own.  

Forgiveness is DIVINE. 

 Which means only God can forgive.  But since Jesus completed all that the law required, then ascended to heaven, His Holy Spirit now lives inside all of His children and helps us to do the very things He asks us to do; the very divine things that only the God residing In us can do through us.  

"To all who did receive Him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God."

John 1:12

Things we could never do on our own, for our selves, or even for anyone else.

And that is to forgive,

and to forgive is to set someone else free.

Because I have already been set free.

In other words,

Forgiveness if for giving.  Not for taking.

"And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.  Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you.  Follow God's example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."

Ephesians 4:30-5:2

Thank you, Jesus.

Amen

*Definitions of forgiveness written here are a mashup of definitions from Dictionary.com and thefreedictionary.com