Your heart knows more than your head knows

Today was a good day. 

I start out each morning with this prayer, "This is the day that the LORD has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."  I whisper that into Rocco's ear when he wakes up in the morning.  I think he likes it.  He claps his hands in response.    

     My husband comments on the fact that I am very scheduled in how I run our home every day.  It keeps the kids and myself sane.  I like the routine and rhythm of it.  The kids like the feeling of predictability.  They feel it even though they have no word for it and in fact have nothing else to compare it to.  This is the way it's done around here, and we all know it to our bones.  

     I was tired today. 

     I was sad today. 

I missed my four older kids today.  

(everyday, the unspeakable heart bleed) 

     That is not the basis of today being a good or bad day.  

     It was good because God made it good, and I have learned through the years.  

     Almost fifteen years ago, I had my first baby.  Oh how I loved that baby, and it's interesting how things fall into place when you have a first child.  And now that it is so many years and experiences and traumas later, and now that there are two very little children still here with me in the home, I finally know how to put them down for a nap at the same time every day.  

I finally know how to savor having tiny children in the home.

     I did not know how to do that before.  

Well, I knew it a little but not as deeply as I know it now.

     It took until I had five of them before I knew that.

Lord, did I do all that you wanted me to do today, were you pleased with the results?

     Today was a good day.

     Tomorrow will be better.  

     Amen.

     XOXO,